I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you. Go after that dick
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
