Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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