I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
