I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
