i don't like sucking hair
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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