I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
