I need to stop coming to work sober
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
