Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We talked him into tasing himself.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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