dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
