OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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