You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
