You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
