my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
