Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
