Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize