we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
