you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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