remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
