Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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