Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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