i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
