..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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