Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
