Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
