Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
