strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize