I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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