sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
