im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize