Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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