Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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