You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
