How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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