did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
