if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i think i just lost a toe
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