i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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