she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
