it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
