chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
