i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Enjoy the penises
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
