He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
