Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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