Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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