would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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