i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
