I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
