I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
