Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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