He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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