And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
