Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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