There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You made out with two different species that night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
