We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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