She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
