You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
