im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
and you fell through a lawn chair
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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