he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
