wakey wakey hands off snakey
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
