What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
