Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
