He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
