New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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