like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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